Blogpost for Dance North

August 2, 2020

About, and, 2020.

 

 

Can we dance tomorrow please?

Can we please move?

About

fragility

and worry

and being twenty six

and being lucky to be alive

and happy

and sad

and listening

and real life

and finding a boyfriend

and finding a boyfriend

and calling your mum

and telling her not to worry

and crying because she's worried

and she should be happy

and free

and then sleeping

and it's Monday

 

and Friday the 13th of March

and Tomek leaving because the borders will close

and upset

and worry

and arguments

and silence

and calling my mum

and telling her not to come

and the last two shows are cancelled

and upset

and worry

and arguments

and silence

and surrender

and stuck

and not being able to physically leave

and not being able to go home

and my 'body is my home'

and 'stay at home', bleiben zuhause

and what about the people who don't have a home

and what about the people who don't feel safe in their home

and what about the people moving from home to home to home

and finding a new home

and fortune

and friends being chucked out of their home

and friends offering up their home

and having good friends

and not understanding

and listening to the news

and listening to the news in Swiss German

and not understanding

and staying

and leaving

and learning

and loving

and feeling lost

and falling in love

 

and Friday the 10th of April

and starting a corona diary

and sanity

and staring out of the window

and sunshine

and full moon

and half moon

and mercury

and I'm a Gemini

and having more time to focus on my monthly cycles

and breathing from my womb space

and fortune

and shopping, for food

and zwei meter abstand

and disinfect your hands

and digest the new reality

and what about the people who don't get governmental support

and what about the people who can't work and don't get paid

and what about small business owners

and single parents

and minorities

and what about Granny Rose?

 

And Friday the 15th of May

and I would have been performing And tomorrow at RISE Festival in Findhorn

and I would have travelled from London to Findhorn overnight tonight

and I would have danced

and sang

and finally shared the final version of And after three years of research

and the full moon

and the half moon

and ZOOM

and Zooming with The Yonis

and rejecting Zoom dance classes

and leading a Zoom improv session with The Glasgow Jam

and Zoom malfunctioning

and leading it on fb live

and watching myself teaching a class online

and at least having Simon in the room playing sound

and fortune

and everything is truly cancelled

and realising I'm unemployed

and still in Switzerland

and still feeling sad

and lonely

and lucky

and lost

and alive

and comfortable

and cared for

and safe

and desperate

and calm

and cool

and confronted

and confused, all at the same time

and 22:22 on the 22nd of May

 

and Friday the 12th of June

and making new plans

and moving into a new room

and birthdays

and solstices

and stuff opening up, slowly

and mini golf at the top of the hill

and banana pancakes

and grill

and swimming in the Aare

and cycling to Burgdorf

and signing up for a German course

and starting

and silence is violence

and apologising

and being white

and being Scottish

and being a woman

and alive

and being white

and being Scottish

and being a woman

and alive

 

and Friday the 17th of July

and things not working out the way they were supposed to

and it's hard

and it's soft

and I cry because I'm sad

and I cry because of other things

and missing my sister

and wanting to hug her

and hear her banter

and argue with her

and accomplishments, small accomplishments

and having three plants

and Women Don't Owe You Pretty, thanks Florence

and what can I do today to contribute, to change, to help, to heal, to feel, to share, to make someone smile?

 

Can we dance tomorrow please?

Can we please move?

 

 

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