Blogpost for Dance North
About, and, 2020.
Can we dance tomorrow please?
Can we please move?
About
fragility
and worry
and being twenty six
and being lucky to be alive
and happy
and sad
and listening
and real life
and finding a boyfriend
and finding a boyfriend
and calling your mum
and telling her not to worry
and crying because she's worried
and she should be happy
and free
and then sleeping
and it's Monday
and Friday the 13th of March
and Tomek leaving because the borders will close
and upset
and worry
and arguments
and silence
and calling my mum
and telling her not to come
and the last two shows are cancelled
and upset
and worry
and arguments
and silence
and surrender
and stuck
and not being able to physically leave
and not being able to go home
and my 'body is my home'
and 'stay at home', bleiben zuhause
and what about the people who don't have a home
and what about the people who don't feel safe in their home
and what about the people moving from home to home to home
and finding a new home
and fortune
and friends being chucked out of their home
and friends offering up their home
and having good friends
and not understanding
and listening to the news
and listening to the news in Swiss German
and not understanding
and staying
and leaving
and learning
and loving
and feeling lost
and falling in love
and Friday the 10th of April
and starting a corona diary
and sanity
and staring out of the window
and sunshine
and full moon
and half moon
and mercury
and I'm a Gemini
and having more time to focus on my monthly cycles
and breathing from my womb space
and fortune
and shopping, for food
and zwei meter abstand
and disinfect your hands
and digest the new reality
and what about the people who don't get governmental support
and what about the people who can't work and don't get paid
and what about small business owners
and single parents
and minorities
and what about Granny Rose?
And Friday the 15th of May
and I would have been performing And tomorrow at RISE Festival in Findhorn
and I would have travelled from London to Findhorn overnight tonight
and I would have danced
and sang
and finally shared the final version of And after three years of research
and the full moon
and the half moon
and ZOOM
and Zooming with The Yonis
and rejecting Zoom dance classes
and leading a Zoom improv session with The Glasgow Jam
and Zoom malfunctioning
and leading it on fb live
and watching myself teaching a class online
and at least having Simon in the room playing sound
and fortune
and everything is truly cancelled
and realising I'm unemployed
and still in Switzerland
and still feeling sad
and lonely
and lucky
and lost
and alive
and comfortable
and cared for
and safe
and desperate
and calm
and cool
and confronted
and confused, all at the same time
and 22:22 on the 22nd of May
and Friday the 12th of June
and making new plans
and moving into a new room
and birthdays
and solstices
and stuff opening up, slowly
and mini golf at the top of the hill
and banana pancakes
and grill
and swimming in the Aare
and cycling to Burgdorf
and signing up for a German course
and starting
and silence is violence
and apologising
and being white
and being Scottish
and being a woman
and alive
and being white
and being Scottish
and being a woman
and alive
and Friday the 17th of July
and things not working out the way they were supposed to
and it's hard
and it's soft
and I cry because I'm sad
and I cry because of other things
and missing my sister
and wanting to hug her
and hear her banter
and argue with her
and accomplishments, small accomplishments
and having three plants
and Women Don't Owe You Pretty, thanks Florence
and what can I do today to contribute, to change, to help, to heal, to feel, to share, to make someone smile?
Can we dance tomorrow please?
Can we please move?
